What are the Basic Principals of Sex Coaching?

In Dr. Patti Britton's book "The Art of Sex Coaching," she explains that sex coaching is derived from the general coaching profession.  The primary objective in both practices is to empower the client. Coaching does that differently and more significantly than most therapists do. Therefore, sex coaching is quite different from most therapeutic approaches to treating clients' sexual concerns. 

In "The Portable Coach", Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach University, established the principles of the coaching profession. What's great is that these same principles can be applied to life, business, and sex coaching.  Coachville, an organization dedicated to accomplishing Leonard's vision, provides the following 15 "coaching proficienies". 

The Basic Principles of Coaching:

1. Engages in provocative conversations
2. Reveals clients to themselves
3. Elicits greatness
4. Enjoys clients immensely
5. Expands the clients' best efforts
6. Navigates via curiosity
7. Recognizes perfection in every situation
8. Hones in on what is most important
9. Communicates cleanly
10. Shares what there is
11. Champions clients
12. Enters new territories
13. Relishes truth
14. Designs supportive environments
15. Respect clients' humanity

Sex coaching embraces many of these themes:

The client is the focus of attention

In coaching, the client drives the process and determines the pace of progress. They may agree or disagree with your observations or suggestions, and it's up to the coach to meet them on their terms and adjust assignments or expectations to reflect the client's willingness and ability to complete them. The client drives the engagement.

The client is encouraged to build attraction

One of the guiding principles of coaching is to "be as attractive as you can be," which empowers clients by shifting focus from specific goal attainment to cultivating an overall sense of attractiveness. By becoming the most attractive version of oneself—encompassing physical, mental, and emotional attributes such as attitude, communication style, and negotiation skills—individuals can achieve their desired outcomes. While goal setting and striving to achieve these goals can encounter resistance, cultivating attractiveness involves evolving into a magnetic presence. This represents a nuanced transformation in the energy and approach to personal growth.

Empowerment is central

At the core of sex coaching is the concept of client empowerment. An effective coach educates clients on establishing healthy boundaries and the importance of practicing the ability to say "no." In the context of sex coaching, this skill is particularly crucial, as many individuals have not been encouraged to assertively communicate their needs or boundaries and may have felt limited in their ability to make choices. 

While sex coaching is certainly derivative of therapeutic approaches, it differs from therapy, counseling or education. Sex coaching is a unique approach designed to help people experience more (and better quality) sexual fulfillment, pleasure, intimacy, connections, and joy. 

Dr. Patti's 10 Principles of Sex Coaching:

1. Sex coaching moves the client toward future outcomes and results. It is based on examining the current situation and deciding what the client wants to accomplish and how they want to change/grow/learn. The client determines how they want to change. While the coach guides the process, the client determines the outcome.
   
   
2. Sex coaching relies on positive reinforcement of clients' dreams and desired outcomes.
   
   
3. The sex coach is the guide helping the client overcome their sexual blocks in thinking, feeling, and behaviors, which creates space for the free flow of sexual energy in whatever form of expression the client wants.
   
   
4. The client is never a patient. The sex coach collaborates on the journey towards the client's goals. It is a cooperative approach. 
   
   
5. The focus is always on the needs of the client.
   
   
6. Sex coaching works in a short span of time. This is not long term therapy. Some clients' concerns can be addressed in a few sessions, while others can take a few months. 
   
   
7. Practical exercises are assigned for completion at home. These are termed 'home play' instead of 'homework' to emphasize the concept that sexual exploration can be approached with a sense of playfulness. 
   
   
8. Sex coaching is highly experimental and experiential. Often, the client will practice new ideas and expand the edges of their comfort zone.
   
   
9. The sex coach is a participant in the healing process by facilitating interactive sessions.
   
   
10. Sex coaching is a vehicle for containing the clients' emotionality. While deep past emotional issues may surface, the focus remains on where the client is with the present and where they want to be sexually. Clients with deep emotional issues may be referred to a trained therapist.