What is Sex Coaching and How it Differs From Sex Therapy

Since becoming a sex coach, I'm often asked what the difference is between sex coaching and sex therapy. Sex coaching and sex therapy (or professional counseling) serve distinct purposes, though both focus on helping individuals (and couples) improve their sex lives. 

Sex Coaching is future-focused, with specific goals around self-knowledge, personal growth, and development. It's life coaching meets sex therapy. I'll help you define and clarify goals and create action plans to enhance your performance. A great coach will help you explore new possibilities and encourage you to examine your real desires.

Coaches do not diagnose or treat. In fact, sex coaching arose as a non-pathologizing way to explore sexuality and normalize it. Sex coaching is an interactive and participatory process.  Cognitive reframing is one of the many tools to debunk myths and bring in a new story. Sex coaching tends to be short-term engagements focusing on specific outcomes.

Sex therapy focuses on emotional, psychological, or behavioral issues pertaining to sex. It often deals with the past, resolving internal conflicts, and healing from trauma. Sex therapists work with individuals and couples who may be experiencing emotional or psychological distress, mental health conditions, or life challenges.

Sex therapists use therapeutic techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), talk therapy, and other evidence-based practices to help clients process emotions, change negative patterns, and improve mental well-being. They typically have advanced degrees in psychology, counseling, or social work and are licensed by regulatory boards. A therapist diagnoses and treats emotional or mental health disorders, providing a supportive environment for clients to explore deep emotional issues.

In sex coaching, there is no diagnostic standard. We use neutral, non-medical, non-pathologizing language. There is no diagnosis or discussion of treatment models. There is nothing wrong with you. As we shift away from disease-based messages, we can remove the judgments and fears around sexuality. It's all normal as long as it's consensual!

Sex coaching provides a container of caring and supportive safety, guiding clients toward successful outcomes based on their goals. Sex coaching focuses on assessments using the MEBES Model and creates action plans. Education, and not counseling, is at the foundation of sex coaching. 

Sex coaching is a collaborative and cooperative endeavor. Good sex coaches witness, validate, and encourage. We listen deeply and use our intuition to guide the sessions. Some of the techniques I use include exercises to feel present and grounded in our bodies. Meditation, dance, and breathwork are wonderful ways to connect to ourselves and our partners. As we shift from an outcome-oriented model of sex to one that's more playful and pleasure-focused, we can encourage curiosity and exploration. And what's more fun than playful curiosity?